| I love Eric Valmoja. :)
I've never been happier and it's all because of him... |
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| Is it just me, or is this summer incredibly long?
It's kinda nice...
I still got a lot to do liiiiikkkeee... -Find an apartment with JOE
-Ask dad about getting the apartment with Joe
-Brush up on my Korean
-Go beach a couple more times
-Make that money money
-Wear my gold freakum dress
-Hang out more with Joe (and maybe Alia too?)
-Do all this backup work (aka bitch work) for my mom and the MHS girls bowling team... I guess that's what assistant coaches do..
-Spend more time with my darling baby boo, Eric ^_^ *whew* Yeah, that's a lot. |
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| I finished reading the last Harry Potter book Sunday night (or rather, Monday morning) at 2:20 AM..
I would've finished it sooner but I had work.. grr you, work!
But I loved it.. AND I LOVE HARRY POTTER! (yeah, I'm a HUGE dork...) |
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| Maybe I'm just PMSing, but wow I've been so emotional lately. I mean, mostly I've been good--extremely happy even. But I don't know... I still get really sad whenever I think about how much things have changed over the past 2 months. I know the change was inevitable and it's good for me to get used to change, but I feel a little guilty that I can just move on with life and go with the flow of life so quickly and easily. I never thought I'd be this okay about how things turned out. Maybe it's because I'm a Pisces and I just take life as it comes and I just flow with the current of life and I let it take me to whichever destination is next. I wish others could be able to to the same though. I'm still really sad that I hurt someone I really care about... That's the reason why I'm still not completely okay. I think the only ways I can be truly happy is if 1) I just focus on how I feel since I'm happy anyway so I should be okay with that, or 2) The other person moves on as well and is able to feel happy with life once again. I don't even know if this makes sense. I really really really want him to be happy... Not just "okay" but happy. I feel like it's all my fault and I don't know if it's because he made me feel like it is (putting all the blame on me), or if it's because it really is my fault (which I don't think is the case). It takes two to make a relationship work, so it should also take two to make one come apart. Am I sounding like a big bitch? I really hope not... Ahhh I don't knnoooowww!! All I know is it's killing me inside knowing that I hurt someone that I truly love and that that person might never forgive me for it, even though we say we're still friends. I don't want to feel hated, but it seems that he does hate me for how things turned out. Maybe I just wanted to hear for myself (from him) that all the blame does not rest on me and that it's because of the both of us that things didn't work out. Because that's how I feel, but I do want him to realize that too... Other than all that, I'm happy with my life and the changes that have come my way. Kelli was right; I shouldn't be afraid of change. Change gives us a chance to grow and learn and experience what else life has to offer. Change gives life meaning and excitement. Only through change can we truly discover more about ourselves and what else lies in store for us in the future. |
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